I'm on a fixed budget but apparently I'm blowing it all on boobs.
According to Tina, shopping for a bra in the East is an Asian experience that I should not miss. The lingerie here is designed to squeeze cleavage out of the least endowed girl in Taipei.
The underwear in the department store is uber-girlie. Everything is frilly or lacy or bow-ridden or pastel-coloured. They're liquid-filled and thick-strapped. Even the daintiest-looking brassiere is built like a sports bra.
The garment redistributes your fat to the right places, Tina says. "Get them in order. Call a meeting," she says, gesturing at my chest.
A little lady in a pink and grey store uniform that makes her look like housekeeping staff, helped me in the change room.
I turned to face her and without warning, she reached into the bra and scooped my fat, like she was folding dough.
So $1580 NTD got me new undies - and to second base with a stranger.
Picture: Tina and extremely helpful department store worker.