Hampster in my new apartment

I just played hide and seek with a cockroach. I kept pushing this rolling vacuum away and it would scurry back underneath it. I finally trapped it under a glass pot lid. It exhausted itself racing on an invisible track, then put its antennae in its mouth. I named it Hampster because it was like watching a pet running on a wheel except that I was still terrified of him so I flushed him down the toilet.
"Why don't you just step on it?" Tina asked me on the phone after I had shrieked into the receiver.
"I can't stand the crunch and the juice," I said.
"Apples are crunchy and juicy."
I'll name the next one Apple.